The Little Prince and Heir Apparent has been with us for over a week now. For the last ten days, Anne and I have looked at the world thru the eyes of a unique eight year old boy. It is a world of imagination filled with mystery and magic; made-up games with villains and super heroes (most of whom bare a strong resemblance to His Royal Highness.) Make believe rules the day.

There has also been a large dose of Harry Potter. Over the past year, Connor has become a voracious reader. He knocked off the first three Harry Potter books Anne gave him in four and a half days. The Prisoner of Azkaban DVD has had at least four viewings so far. Given a choice, I’ll take waterboarding over another episode of Sponge Bob Square Pants any day.I’m sure the spirit of Art Linkletter, the late host of a bygone television show entitled Kids Say the Darnest Things, must hover over this kid. Some of the things he says are wise beyond his years. We call them Connerisms.

“Sometimes I think the universe is out to get me.”

“Life is a great big mystery.”

“You know what they say about cats: they fight; they bite.”

He’s become a walking conscience. “Ron, why do you smoke?” “Ron, when are you going to stop smoking?” He calls us by our first names because grandpa and grandma are too much of a mouthful.

A lot of our time has been filled with sound. When not reading or sleeping, there is  nonstop, constant sound. Make believe requires special effects, character voices and a sound track.  A fertile young mind can be exhausting. In a couple of days, we have to give him back to his father. The third grade begins a week from today. When he leaves, the silence will be deafening. I miss him already.

I guess the thing I miss most about the restaurant business is the interaction with the patrons. Most everyone I know in the food industry doesn’t do it for the money, they do it because they love what they do. There is no better feeling than the one a chef gets from gazing at a full dining room of happy, satisfied customers and knowing that you are responsible for it.

Chefs belong to an odd fraternity. It is one of the most stressful jobs in the world, ranking in the number four position just behind air traffic controllers. Chefs can be very open and secretive at the same time. Most of us tend to be show-offs, though, and like nothing better than sharing our knowledge (but not necessarily our recipes) with others. I’ve dined in some of the best restaurants in the world and the callous on my right index finger from wielding a chef’s knife for 25 years is all the ticket I need for a tour of their kitchens.

I’ve been out of the business for over a decade now. Except for a few special occasions, my cooking has been confined to preparing meals for family and friends. As satisfying as that can be, I still miss cooking for the public. I miss the camaraderie of the professional kitchen and the knowledge gained from working with other cooks, for fine dining is a team effort. No successful chef can do it without the help of a good staff.

Living as we now do prevents me from participating in intriguing  food trends like molecular gastronomy and pop-up restaurants. There are things I can learn from watching cooking shows like Iron Chef America and Top Chef, but the only way I can test what I learn is by putting it out there. Friends and family tend to be very forgiving and not always forthcoming.  That’s why I’ve decided to start my own trend -the Guerilla Chef - I strike without warning.

A couple of days ago, I got a hankering for tapas, the little dishes of Spain. I fixed a half dozen traditional Spanish tapas and took them just down the road to West Wind Farm so Anne and I could have a glass of wine and share some food with our friend David Manley. It wasn’t long before Alisa Potts came in for a short meeting with David, after which she joined Anne and me for a glass of wine and tapas. On the way home later, I felt that inner satisfaction I get when someone eats my food for the first time, and I know they enjoyed it.

For years now, long before the small plate wave hit American restaurants, I’ve been playing with the idea of American tapas. Recently, I’ve been experimenting with traditional Appalachian ingredients, giving them a modern twist in a small plate format. It’s time to test those ideas, maybe at the Farmers Market, the Winery, or who knows where?  So look for the Guerilla Chef in the coming months to strike at a place near you.

I’m not sure of the exact date, but one night I went to sleep and awakened the next morning in a parallel universe. At least I thought it was a parallel universe because stupid people were in charge. Things like science, knowledge and actual facts had no more importance than some batshit crazy’s opinion. If anything, they meant less. Surely I was dreaming, but when I pinched myself, I realized this was no dream. It was a nightmare. And it was real. Last week those stupid fuckers who pass for our political leaders drove us off a cliff.

For the first time in history, the United States no longer has a Triple A credit rating. The insecurity that has exploded throughout the world financial markets is a disaster. No one knows where we’re headed because we’ve never been here before. To think that we can just cut spending without raising revenue is insane. If you think things are bad now, just wait a few months.

Who is to blame? All of us are because we elected these bastards.

President Obama and the Democrats are stupid because they thought they could negotiate with the other side in good faith. Obama figured that everyone wants a bipartisan agreement with a balanced approach that would begin to fix the mess the previous administration has gotten us into. I’m sure he looked forward to facing the cameras with John “Boo Hoo” Boehner and Harry Reid at his side for a comforting kumbaya moment that showed that yes, Virginia, we can all get along. Geezus, how stupid can he be?

The day after the presidential election, Obama’s opponents began working to ensure his administration would fail. And fail it has. Obama squandered all the political capital he had because he wanted everyone to like him. Memo to the President: You brought a knife to a gunfight. These people hate your guts, and if you think trying to out-Republican the Republicans by abandoning the promises you made to those who voted for you is going to work, you’re delusional. The so-called compromise you signed last week was no compromise. You just bent over and grabbed your ankles.

The Republicans and their sixty member Tea Bagging caucus are beyond stupid. Their political posturing created a false “emergency” that has put the economic security of every single American at risk just to prove who has the biggest dick. Have a mortgage, credit card, car or student loan? You’re fucked. Interest rates are going to rise. Unemployed, on Social Security, need Medicare or Medicaid, or have a retirement account? Good damn luck. The safety net is now on the chopping block. This new super committee that will decide how the government will spend our money can now start chopping entitlement programs. This doesn’t apply to members of Congress, naturally. All they have to do is serve one term and they have a generous guaranteed retirement that includes free medical insurance.

Bye the way, Social Security is NOT an entitlement. It’s a goddamn CONTRACT made between the federal government and every person who has paid into it. But hey, contracts no longer mean jack as far as these assholes are concerned. Unless, of course, the contract means that corporations and the richest 1% pay no taxes, or we continue to pay 4,000,000,000.00 dollars annually in subsidies to the oil companies. Oh, in case you were wondering, EVERY SINGLE MEMBER OF CONGRESS is in that 1%. Our carpetbagging congressman Morgan Griffith voted against the “compromise” because he didn’t think it went far enough.

Where do we go from here? Beats the shit out of me.

little kids

For the Friday night Collector’s Cruise-In on Main Street, the Wytheville Farmers Market will be open tomorrow evening beginning at 5 pm. This is a good opportunity for those of you who are unable to attend the regular Saturday morning market to see what all the buzz is about. Stop by for some hot roasted corn, homemade ice cream, and some yummilicious baked goods.

This year’s market has continued to grow in size and variety of vendors. Here’s a quick look at three of those vendors.

Bracken’s Trout Hatchery offers fresh, fully dressed fish at $4 per trout. I baked a couple the other night stuffed with sauteed mushrooms and onions, and bread crumbs with fresh herbs.Folks, I’m here to tell you the sweet, firm flesh of these little beauties is really something special.

Aurora Lucas fuses plastic packaging into material that she uses to make purses, slippers, and jewelry. Her products are truly unique.

Finally, Anne is now offering freshly baked cookies using her original recipes and one that has been in her family for over a hundred years. Anne is an excellent baker and plans to add pies and cobblers to her repertoire.

So join us Friday evening for some good food and good fun. Hope to see you there!

Actually, I don’t mean to call Papa Doc Dalton a liar. What I mean to call him is a goddamned liar. According to the Wytheville Enterprise, the following is what Dalton had to say about the hiring of Gary Cody to be the Director of Parks and Recreation and Tourism:

According to Wythe County Administrator Cellell Dalton, Cody’s expertise in tourism promotion attracted attention from the Board of Supervisors. Also, the county will focus on recreational programs for adults.
“We’re looking at progressively promoting Wythe County,” Dalton said. “The department of parks and recreation has dabbled in tourism since 1993. The board wants the new director to look at ways we can promote the county.”

Whereas Mr. Cody has an undergraduate degree (something Dalton himself doesn’t have) from Radford University in Parks, Recreation, and Tourism, he has no practical experience in tourism. Mr. Cody was Director of Parks and Recreation for the city of Martinsville. Martinsville has a separate Director of Tourism by the name of Jennifer Doss, so I’m really interested in knowing exactly what Mr. Cody’s “expertise in tourism promotion” Dalton is talking about.

The arrogance of this man really pisses me off. Wythe County has never had a Department of Parks and Recreation and Tourism. The Department has always been Parks and Recreation. Dalton added the and Tourism after a local businessman asked how the $811,146.60 in lodging tax that the State of Virginia requires to be spent on tourism was actually spent. Tourism is not an afterthought. It is a very specialized field. These are the requirements for the job of Director of Tourism for the town of Abingdon:

MINIMUM TRAINING AND EXPERIENCE

Bachelor’s degree in marketing, public relations, or a closely related field, and 5 to 7 years experience in marketing or public relations work; or any combination of training and experience which provides the required skills, knowledge and abilities.

The full job description can be found here.

Randolph County, NC, has the following requirements:

MINIMUM EDUCATION AND/OR EXPERIENCE REQUIRED

Must have Bachelor’s Degree in tourism, public relations, marketing or related field; and/or destination marketing organization specialized program degree in marketing, hospitality management, public relations or related field, with a minimum of two years experience in the travel and tourism industry; or a minimum of five years experience working in the travel and tourism industry with demonstrated ability to perform the skill set as defined by the Director of Tourism job description.

The full job description can be found here.

It has reached the point that if Dalton told me it was raining, I’d have to stand outside and get soaking wet before I’d believe him.

I see that His Excellency, County Administrator for Life Papa Doc Dalton has appointed a Director of Parks and Recreation and Tourism. Laying aside the fact that Parks and Recreation is a totally different field than Tourism, and the official designation of the department is simply Parks and Recreation, what about the $811,146.60 Dalton has misappropriated over the last decade? This is the amount of money that, as of last month, (it’s more now,) the County was, according to VA State Code, supposed to have spent on tourism. Instead, it went into the general fund to help pay for the Lot 24 Project, Dalton’s White Elephant. Since the money is collected on a monthly basis and is supposed to be spent on a monthly basis, Papa Doc has knowingly racked up over 100 violations of state law. How long should the citizens of this county have to put up with this arrogant asshole?

Dalton’s commitment to tourism is a joke. Five years ago, this was the guy who tried to help Duke Power build a gas fired power plant on the New River, the county’s greatest natural resource, next to Foster Falls State Park, one of Virginia’s premiere state parks. That would have been a real boon to tourism.

No, Dalton hired Liberty University graduate Gary Cody to head up a newly designated Department of Parks and Recreation and Tourism to cover his ass. Maybe it’s time for Commonwealth Attorney Jerry Mabe to empanel a grand jury to look into the operations of the County Administrator’s Office.

Back during the Reagan era when politics started to turn ugly, Lee Atwater, the political genius most responsible for Reagan’s election, came up with the concept of the “big lie.” The way it works is simple. Say something really damaging and untrue about a candidate and make him deny it. The mere accusation will cost the candidate votes. Over the years, as any number of former candidates can attest, it has worked well.

It appears that someone may be attempting this little tactic in our upcoming fall election. Someone is spreading a lie about Robert Kegley, Democrat candidate for Commissioner of the Revenue. So let me set the record straight. Mr. Kegley never said that he had been endorsed by the Chamber of Commerce or the United Way. As the former chairman of both organizations, Mr. Kegley will tell you that neither organization endorses political candidates.

Folks, we have a number of issues to deal with in this election. I hope that the candidates, Republicans, Democrats, and Independents, will use this blog to help get their message out. I also hope voters will voice their opinions. But, NEW RULES. Anyone posting a comment about a candidate or their stand on an issue must use their full name. No hiding behind the anonymity of screen names or first names. As much as possible, this is going to be a fair fight. Got that Curley?

The Wythe County Democrat Party plans to hold a homecoming get together tomorrow evening (Thursday, July 21,) at Elizabeth Brown Park beginning at 5:30 pm. County residents are invited to a hot dog supper and an evening of entertainment featuring music by Sam Gleaves and the political satire of Marsha Turpin. The highlight of the evening may very well be a cake baked and decorated by Supervisor Gene Horney. Those who have tasted Supervisor Horney’s cake say it’s “to die for.”

Folks, this fall’s election is an important one for this county, and it is incumbent upon every voter to make intelligent choices when it is time to step into that voting booth. Tomorrow evening is an excellent opportunity to meet the democrat candidates in a relaxed setting and find out where they stand on the issues. Besides, come Friday when the whole county is asking, “Did you get a piece of Gene’s cake,” don’t you want to answer yes?
Check www.wythecodemocrats.org for additional information.

Cakemeister Gene Horney